Motherhood & Parenting

Finding a Twin and St. Teresa of Avila

Wherein We Discover We Miscarried Twins

Shortly after posting the last note about our miscarriage, we discovered that our baby had a twin.

How did I not discover the second baby immediately?

You may remember that my husband was not at home when I miscarried–he and the children were in South Dakota–so I chose to wait before opening the baby’s sac. When I did open it, however, I found two precious babies.

Ah, my heart!

They were tiny, in their little, kidney bean-like shapes. It appeared that one had died perhaps around week 5 or 6 and the other a week later. I had the information and the pictures sent to my doctor, who in turn had a pathologist look at them. Both doctors unofficially concluded what I observed–the twin babies had died very early.

And how does one react to such a bittersweet discovery?

With praise and thanksgiving to our Lord who saw fit to give me two sets of twins. (My 12-year-old boys are twins.)

But then, I could hardly be human if I didn’t admit with a choking cry the ache that such a loss causes. For the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

I am currently reading St. Teresa of Avila’s The Book of Her Life and The Way of Perfection. Both books are pertinent reminders of the fleetingness of life and of the great importance to remain close to our Lord in prayer. Truly all of our sufferings can bring us closer to Him, if we only seek Him.

If you’ve never picked up St. Teresa of Avila, I strongly encourage you to do so. Don’t be intimidated by her lofty, contemplative prayer life. One need not be very advanced at all in one’s prayer life–thankfully!–to gather much of what she’s saying, for she has a very clear way of writing and can be quite funny at times, especially in The Way of Perfection, which she wrote for her sisters as a summation of her first autobiographical book, The Book of Her Life.