Motherhood & Parenting

Is Fasting For Mothers?

Prior to the beginning of Lent, nearly every year, I am tempted to bitterness and resentment.

Why, you may ask?  Mostly because I’m a whiner, but also because I’m a mother.  A mother of 7 children, all under the age of 14, and I am almost always nursing or pregnant.  While I know that there are mothers out there who find motherhood easy and breezy, I do not.  On the contrary, I find motherhood difficult, for it involves great suffering and great sacrifice.

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My house on any given day.  Lots going on!

And then Lent rolls around, and I’m tempted to think to myself, I never left Lent last year!  I was up four times last night.  The baby screamed all day.  I have stains on my shirt.  I spent a 1/5th of this year in a hospital for my son.  We just moved 600 miles.  We have no friends.  I already fast every Friday, and now I’m supposed to do more penance?  I think I’ll drink another glass of wine…

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My house on a bad day.  Mea culpa.

This kind of thinking does no good, and when I catch myself at it, I consciously reject it, for I’m only thinking about myself; I’m not thinking about Jesus, and I’m not thinking about my eternal salvation or that of others.

And of course motherhood is worth it!  I’m just saying there are moments when extra penance is incredibly difficult and perhaps not advisable in certain situations.*

Enter Simcha Fisher’s Thoughts

But, truly, I wonder about women–mothers, in particular.  Is extra penance and/or fasting for mothers in general?  Simcha Fisher has an interesting piece HERE at The Catholic Weekly.  I think she makes a really good point.  Go read it.

Or it’s HERE on her blog.  Seriously, go read it.  I know that some people consider her a bit edgy, but boy, can I relate sometimes!

Enter Ember Days

Last week I finished my very first Ember Days of fasting.  It was so difficult.  By the time Saturday rolled around, I literally couldn’t move and crashed on the couch.  My husband–no stranger to fasting–looked at me and said, “Enough already, Kim.  I know it’s only 2:30pm, but go eat.  You’ve done a good job; you haven’t complained to anybody except me, but now, go, eat.”

I hesitated a moment, then walked to refrigerator and ate a leftover sandwich, for I was exhausted and famished, and for a brief moment, I felt guilty.  Couldn’t I just make it a few more hours until dinner-time?

No.  No, I could not.

Even though I couldn’t make the full 3 days, however, it was still worth it, for I need to fast and deny myself periodically, but I also need to be attentive to my particular situation.  If I’ve been up all night with sick children and am sleep deprived, it may not be a good time to take on extra penance.

Dear Readers, I’d love to hear your thoughts or any inspiration you may have.

 

 

*In the very least, do I need to say that I don’t fast when I’m pregnant or nursing?  I probably should clarify that.  Let me repeat: I don’t fast when I’m pregnant or nursing, nor do I recommend it.
Call Me Catholic

An Act of Generosity & Ember Days

An Anonymous Act of Generosity

Two Sundays ago the children woke up extra early and were especially crabby.  (Oh wait, that was me!)  So my husband and I decided to attend an earlier Mass at a different parish, so that we could be home at a decent time for naps.

Now, our family is a little conspicuous wherever we go for a two reasons:

  1. We’ve got 7 children under the age of 12 and therefore take up a whole pew.
  2. The girls and I veil.  Even at the Novus Ordo.  (Don’t know what veiling is?  Click HERE.)

So in we walked with our troupe and commenced praying the Mass, which went fairly well.  There was only one incident when the baby pooped out her whole outfit.  Once I discovered that, I quickly exited to the back of the church and began hunting for a bathroom.

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This picture has nothing to do with my post.  It’s some wild flowers the girls picked the other day.  Aren’t they pretty?  Aster, fleabane, goldenrod, sunflowers, and dotted blazing star.

And I wasn’t the only one looking for a bathroom.  Lo and behold, another mother was in the same predicament as I was.  We both had visibly messy babies.  Eventually we found the ONE bathroom, which was of course locked and in use, with a line running back into the entrance/narthex area.

What to do?  The other mother suggested that our Blessed Lord surely wouldn’t mind if knelt right down and changed our babies in the church narthex, in front of scores* of people.  So we did.

Anyway, as I said earlier, everything else went as usual with no major incidents.  As we left the church, however, I happened to glance into my purse/diaper bag and noticed a wad of cash, which was amounted to $80.  I asked my husband if he had put that in there?  Nope.

Then my 5-year-old chimed in, “Mom, I know who put that in there!”

“Who?”

“That really nice, old lady behind us.  She tucked it in your purse when you weren’t looking, but I was.  I gave her a big smile.  Mom, she winked at me.”

I stopped in my tracks.  I couldn’t believe it.  Someone actually gave us money for going to church!?  What an act of kindness!  What a beautiful thing to an overwhelmed mother, who was just worrying about what in the world to feed her huge and ravenously hungry family!

I turned to my husband and said, “Dearest, the Lord wants us to dine out for lunch today.  Betake us to thy favorite restaurant.”

Whereupon he responded, “Certainly, my Dear.  How about the local diner?”

O glorious day!  And may God bless that most generous woman!

Reflection

I was seriously overjoyed at that woman’s act of charity.  It absolutely made my day, which got me thinking.  When’s the last time I did something kind for someone else?

Maybe I could pay for someone else’s coffee the next time I hit up the drive-thru?

Ember Days

Lastly, this Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday are Ember Days.  If you’ve never observed them before, consider it.  (Click HERE for a brief explanation.)

 

 

*The church was overflowing into the narthex area, which is a good problem to have, considering the state of affairs these days.