Anyone need a bit of joy on this cold, cold day? If so, check out My Sweet Ride, which should be enough to cheer any dreary heart.
Top 7 Reasons Why My Van is Awesome
1.The Hail Damage.
We purchased our van very cheaply because there was hail damage on one side, which is awesome. I recommend seeking out vehicles with hail damage. They still run perfectly well and are easier on your pocketbooks. Of course this is also educational because it teaches your children about How to Save Money. When we were looking at this Great, Wondrous Van, I just asked myself, “Kim, would you rather have a respectable, good-looking van and drink no lattes for the rest of your life, or could you be satisfied with This Thing and feel free to cruise the Caribou Drive-Thru every now and then?” Hmmm…not a difficult decision.
2. The Seam Rip.
The seat on the driver’s side had a huge, 4-inch rip along it’s edge. This was also awesome and educational because I had to dust off my sewing box to find a heavy-duty needle and thread, and then I had to actually sew it shut. This was heroic and virtuous behavior on my part too because I hate sewing. And it was great for my children to see their mother sacrificially laboring away.
3. No Interior Carpet Whatsoever.
Yep, there is no carpet to be found in our van. This is great because then the children can spill all they want, on the floor anyway. And what about vomiting? No problem! Easy, fast clean-up.
4. The Extra Cup Holders.
When I cruise around town with my posse in tow, I have three cup holders all to myself up front. One coffee for me. One for my husband, to drop off to him at work. And one for my Coffee-Loving Friend. (Nothing for the children of course. They can drink water.) It’s good to teach your children to sacrifice and to share.
5. The Cigarette Burn Hole.
No, I do not smoke, but yes, there is a gigantic cigarette burn hole on the passenger-side seat. Come to think of it, it might be a cigar burn hole because it’s so big. In any case, this is educational because I can point to it and tell the children about the hazards of smoking. “Look, children, see this hole? This is what happens when you try to flick a cigarette out the window, but the window is still up. Always make sure your window is down before throwing things out of it. Or you’ll wreck your interior.”
6. No GPS.
Of course this van does not have GPS. You had better know where you’re going or how to read an Old-Fashioned Map, which we keep in the cubbyhole. We are terribly behind the times, but this way the children can more easily relate to and understand what it was like for Charles and Caroline Ingalls, as they drove all over the prairie looking for a place to live because they didn’t have GPS. Or cell phones.
7. It’s Like a Public School Bus.
This van is so big that I can haul around all the neighborhood kids in addition to my own. We are like a Party Bus, even though I’m convinced that most people think that my van is a Public School Bus, as I’m forever answering such questions as, “Are all those children yours?” Yes, ma’am. All of ’em. And, “Don’t you have a TV?” Uh, no, actually we don’t…why do you ask?
If any of you are out in the cold, cold dark, I hope that cheers you up a bit! Please feel free to ask any other burning questions that you may have about our van.
Oh yes, and my husband’s favorite thing about The Van? It’s hitch. He uses it to drag stuff around, like huge telephone poles to make ice skating rinks in our backyard.