Life is Worth Living

Our Lady of the Rosary and a Personal Update

A Personal Update: My Miscarriage

I want to sincerely thank everyone for their prayers and kind words, as we continue to struggle with the loss of our baby. It is truly agonizing to wait for this miscarriage to happen. As it is right now, I’m still waiting and going on ten weeks “pregnant.”

I worry about rescuing the baby’s tiny body. Will I be able to identify anything? I’ve heard that as time slips by, one’s body can sometimes slowly absorb the baby.

I worry about something else going wrong. There’s the risk of hemorrhaging. There’s the risk that the little baby will become toxic to my body, and I dread a D&C.

I battle with thoughts of guilt. Perhaps I ought to have been more vigilant with taking progesterone?

Then there’s the heartbreaking questions from my four-year-old, “Mommy, why did the baby have to die?”

“Jesus must have wanted him in Heaven, Honey.”

Pause.

“But, why did the baby have to die, Mommy?”

I looked down at her innocent eyes, held her hand, and said, “I don’t know.”

I suppose in the end–the only thing one can do–is place little Raphael Marie in God’s hands. He’s a good Father, after all, and knows best.

Our Lady of the Rosary, pray for us.

Our Lady of the Rosary

On a lighter note…Happy Feast Day of Our Lady of the Rosary.  This feast has a rich history.  (Click HERE for it at New Advent.)

Many of you may know that this day was originally named Our Lady of Victory to commemorate the naval victory of the Christian fleet over the Turkish fleet in the Gulf of Lepanto in the Adriatic Sea in 1571.

800px-Battle_of_Lepanto_1571.jpg
The Battle of Lepanto.  Artist unknown.  It sits in London now.  Can you see the different flags?

Every October 7th our family reads G. K. Chesterton’s famous poem, Lepanto.  If you’ve never read it before, give it shot.  Chesterton covers this historic battle very well, and it reads like a marching army.  We love it.

And which publication of Chesterton’s Lepanto to we prefer?

Lepanto by [Ahlquist, Dale]

Dale Ahlquist’s book appropriately titled Lepanto, consists of Chesterton’s poem along with a few essays detailing the historical background for October 7th, 1571.  It’s excellent.

2 thoughts on “Our Lady of the Rosary and a Personal Update”

  1. We, too, read Lepanto every year. I also have a CD set by Christopher Check which I keep meaning to listen to. Apparently he tells the story in his own words and then recites the real poem. Perhaps today needs to be the day!

    In regards to progesterone, it is not a magic bullet. It is not something to beat one’s self up about. Women miscarry when on progesterone as well. There will always be doubts and questions. That is part of the terrible Fall. All we can do is try our best to embrace the life of our child while we have the opportunity (even that can be challenging!) – be that for a week, 9 months, a childhood, or an entire lifetime.

    I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.

    Like

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