Life is Worth Living

Items Banned From My House!

As a homeschooling mother of seven little children, there are are just some things that I don’t need to buy anymore.  In fact, I don’t even allow these things in my house, for one reason or another, and it’s not because I’m a Fun-Hater.  It’s just because something has to give when one lives in a small house with a lot of children!

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List of Banned Items

1. Markers.  At the risk of offending Marker-Lovers…here I go.  Now markers top this list because they are very destructive and bothersome.  Not only do they generally make for bad art, but they ruin any coloring book that my toddler wishes to scribble in.  And I’ve got some sweet coloring books.  You know, the Dover ones.  (Click HERE for the Eldest’s favorite.)  And not only are markers destructive, but they are also the least economic form of color, as one must continually buy them because they’re forever losing their lids and going dry.  No, I do not buy these anymore.  And if any should happen to find their way into my house, I promptly donate them to a second-hand store.

2.  Paper Napkins.  I got rid of these years ago.  I was tired of the extra garbage, so we went with cloth napkins.  Color-coordinated too.  Every person gets one napkin a day, and they must be color-coordinated because nobody wants to use the boys’ napkins.  And lest you think I’m a bit off my rocker, please know that I do keep paper napkins on hand for certain events, like say the birth of a new baby, when I’m dreadfully behind on laundry.

3.  Nice  Vehicles.  We gave up on this one long ago.  In fact, we have never had a nice vehicle.  But with the birth of Baby #6, we went all out and purchased a used 15-passenger van.  We figure, why buy something nice when the children will only spit-up on, wet their pants in, and barf all over it?  Well, and who wants a car payment anyway.  Besides, we can really haul some stuff around with this big, bad machine.  When I cruise around town with my posse in tow and a Catholic radio bumpersticker slapped on my rear, people better slide on over.  Watch out Caribou drive-thru.  No, this is not daycare.  This is a family.  (By the way, click HERE for a post on my sweet ride.)

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My Sweet Ride

4.  Watercolor Paints.  Now this one closely resembles Number One.  For watercolors are just messy and annoying.  Should I have a child that shows true artistic talent, then I will gladly purchase real watercolors, or other paints for that matter.  Until then, nope.  The children can “watercolor” away at Grandma’s House.

5.  Bap Soap.  Who wants to scrub soap scum off of anything?  Not me.

6.  Orange Juice.  (Or any other juice.)  I just don’t have room in my refrigerator for this one because I have to buy five gallons of milk a week.  (Click HERE for a post on my refrigerator problem.)  And lest you think we’re milk hogs, I only allow one small glass of milk at breakfast and another at supper, and that’s it.  Well, once a week, on Sundays, the children do get cold cereal, and that does drain away a good gallon or more at one sitting.  Furthermore, orange juice is expensive, and I’ve got a grocery budget that doesn’t allow for it, because I prefer to have other important things on hand, like Asiago cheese.  And wine.